I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
