My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
