thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
