i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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