He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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