i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
