she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
