his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
