Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
