i just had sex bonerless
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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