I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
