She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
