I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
