My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
