Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They took my balls.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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