At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
