I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What changed your mind?
Being sober
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
