I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i think i just lost a toe
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