I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
