I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
