lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize