so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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