Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
