Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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