i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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