I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
