Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
