I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
