Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
