what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
