Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
