can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
