you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
