I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
