I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
