Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
