Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
