But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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