if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
