I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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