I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
