Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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