There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
