i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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