people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
