There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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