Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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