I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
