Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
