dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize