there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
