My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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