I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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