I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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