You made me cry and you don't even care
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
