dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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