when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize