i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
