no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
