My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
